So my winter break is like really long. Seriously I still have a little over a week before classes start. My hours at work got cut back a little so I quite literally have nothing to do except watch TLC. The more I watch, the harder it is to stop but the more I realize how terrible these shows are.
Let me review each of my personal favorite TLC shows.
My 600-Lb. Life: Did you accidentally eat 5 pieces of pizza when you were drunk last night? Do you feel self-conscious about your appearance? Even if you weighed 400 pounds you might be considered a Victoria’s Secret model in comparison to the people on this show. The growths and sack things hanging off of their body draw you in as you think about the many interesting forms the human body can take. You’ll wonder these people didn’t hop on a treadmill once they hit 300 pounds or maybe eat some celery every once in a while. Screw fitness blogs, this is all the motivation you will need to go get that spring break bod.
My Strange Addiction: if you are interested in a show where someone likes drinking urine or having sex with a table or something this is the show for you! Filled with insane freaks who are addicted to the weirdest things you probably wouldn’t believe that they’re actually true (seriously, I think people make this stuff up to just get on TV). They’ll make things like eating tissues seem almost appealing as they speak so passionately about how delicious tissues are.
Extreme Couponing: ah yes, somehow they can make the “art” of using coupons at a grocery store into an entire half hour segment! Extremely dramatic and suspenseful, this is not your grandmother’s couponing. It leaves you on the edge of your seat every time the shopper picks up 99 packs of cat litter instead 100 and almost ruins their chance at completely free cat litter. Not only is this show gripping, but it holds your curiosity as you wonder “how many cats does this person have?” The answer is usually none but they had a coupon for it so whatever. Extreme Couponing will have you wondering “why am I watching Extreme Couponing.”
Hoarding: Buried Alive: at times it may be concerning to you that these people decided to actually go on a TV show and expose the kind of filth they live in but once you watch it you will be thanking them for providing you with such great entertainment. This is my personal favorite of all TLC shows. From flattened cats that have been dead behind their refrigerators for years to billions of cockroaches feasting on black mayonnaise (I’m not kidding it was BLACK) to piles of human excrement just sitting atop a toilet with no running water, there’s a little something for everyone!
Toddlers & Tiaras: if you are pedophile I would recommend this show to you. These mothers dress their daughters up like tiny streetwalkers and parade them around a stage. The children cry and scream as their moms force fake eyelashes onto their eyes and fake teeth into their mouths. If you are ever feeling like a crappy parent this show will make you look like Mother Theresa (I don’t know if this makes sense).
Well this is all I have so far. I think TLC’s only goal is to make you feel really good about yourself and it certainly does work! Thanks TLC!