So my final semester has begun. I just finished the second week of classes and let me tell you what, they aren’t great!
I am in political science 101 for some reason. Well whatever there isn’t much to say about this class except for the professor looks like a turtle and he’s extremely monotone and slightly humpbacked. Actually you know, there really isn’t any proof here that he ISN’T a turtle… can animals teach at four year universities? Okay but yeah it’s a 100 person class and on the first day he poked out of his shell and asked “who here is a senior?” Three of us raised our hands reluctantly. Oh, and yesterday a kid sneezed on my neck.
Another class that I am taking is digital rhetoric. For those of you who really don’t know what rhetoric is, join the club. I have a writing/ rhetoric minor and I still couldn’t tell you. I don’t even think our professor knows because for the first two weeks so far all we have done is try and define rhetoric. I really think he may just be looking for guidance because he’s like 14 years old and afraid. The overarching goal for this class is to come up with an issue and like argue about it? Or something? I don’t know I don’t pay attention. Honestly I’m lazy and hate arguing and presentations. I’ll probably just make my title “gay marriage is ight”, throw in some pictures, then slide out with a B.
Sedimentology and Stratigraphy. The name of this class always leaves people flabbergasted. Big words are hard, I know. What is this class?: go outside and pick up a rock. Is it smooth or bumpy? That’s basically it. But with like a lot weird hard to read charts and boredom- induced crying. It’s an hour and a half long class and for the entire NINETY MINUTES TODAY WE TALKED ABOUT RIPPLES. MOTHER FUCKING RIPPLES. You know those things that form on the ocean floor? Yeah those. But NOTHING makes this class more painful than the fact that I am senior surrounded by freshman kiss-asses. Seriously, this girl sitting in the front was nodding her head so hard today every time the professor spoke, I thought she was having seizure. I even started to dial 911 at one point. The professor is a little funny though, but like in a dad kind of way. And also if you’ve ever seen Shrek 2, he looks like when Shrek drinks that potion and becomes human, fun fact. Oh, and today this girl came into the classroom before anyone else got there and started walking towards the back corner where me and my people sit (yes, we are a geology gang). I was like heeeeelllllll nawww gurl back dat ass out of my corner. So she sat down a few seats in front of me but kept like staring back at me for extended periods of time. Then, after about 2 minutes, she picked up her backpack and rushed out of the classroom. I never saw her again.
Statistics. Another class just littered with freshman. Today we got randomly assigned into group projects with three other people. This girl in my group had the most ferocious resting bitch face I have ever witnessed. It kind of looked like she was trying to poop, in the classroom! And she just glared at me! Like she was sitting about a foot away from me I COULD SEE HER GLARING. I politely asked everyone what their names were because you know, I assumed that knowing the names of your group members was relatively important. She looked at me and whisper-mumbled something at me. “What?” I asked. “MY NAME IS LIZZY” she yelled at me causing a scene before turning into a giant Lizard and eating the other kid in our group (this did not happen, but was very rude about it). If she think she’s going to get away with doing no work just because she’s a scary bitch, she has another thing coming. I am the senior, I earned the right to do absolutely nothing.
Finally the only good class. Social media marketing, which is what I want to do as a career! Wow a class I am actually interested in!
So there you have it. My final days of college will be spent surrounded by freshman and trying not to fall asleep in all my classes. God bless.