Carol's Thoughts

Carolyn goes to the post office

So as you may know I have a pretty violent online shopping addiction. The other night I had not one, but TWO packages coming my way and I was so excited to get home and open them. One of these packages was a dress. The dress had come in a bag rather than a box and this bag had been TOOORE UP (like your mom- HA good one). There were several holes in the bag and smudges all over it. I could tell that this would be bad news.

I opened the bag and took out the dress. THERE WAS A HOLE IN THE DRESS. THANK YOU USPS FOR RUINING MY DRESS I WAS GOING TO WEAR IT THIS WEEKEND. I took out my rage on USPS by sending them an angry, sarcastic Tweet. They never Tweeted back.

Anywho. I tried to file a claim on the USPS website and they said I didn’t have insurance on the package. Of course I didn’t have insurance, I didn’t even know you could do that. I also didn’t expect to need insurance on a $40 dress but like whatever.

So I emailed the company who sold the dress like a lil sneaky sneak and told them the dress was damaged and sent photos along with it. The kind ladies at the store sent over a return label so I could send the dress back for free! How nice! It wasn’t even their fault (they don’t need to know that).

Today I decided to go to the Post Office on my lunch break to send the dress back along with this pair of heinous pants from the same store. I wanted to mail them separately though, because the store was only paying for my shipping for the damaged item, not the heinous pants. I am a nice lady.

Now I am going to be completely honest with you, I don’t know if I have ever been to the Post Office before. I don’t mail packages, I just receive them.

I walked in the door and immediately felt threatened. The ceilings were way too high in this building. Why did they need to be so high!? There was a kiosk type thing in the middle of the lobby that CLEARLY said “free boxes” I felt a bit skeptical but I grabbed two of those and walked into to the mailing desk area. There was a pretty long line so I boxed up my items (without tape) and waited.

There were two ladies at the desk and one of them you could just tell she was a cranky old bitch (excuse me). I was praying I would get the nicer quiet-looking girl, WELL YOU GUESSED IT I GOT THE BITCH LADY. So I approached the counter with two boxes, a return label, and a bit of fear. I sat everything down and told her that I was paying for one box and the store is paying for the other. This seems to anger the lady. In a very passive aggressive tone, she told me that you CANNOT use Priority Mail boxes if you are getting free shipping.

WELL EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME!!! There isn’t like a sign when you walk into the Post Office telling you what to do!!! Just a very tall ceiling and a bunch of supposedly free boxes! What is Priority shipping anyway!? I don’t know! She also said that the other box would be FOURTEEN DOLLARS to ship since it is Priority Shipping. LIKE WHAT SORRY DO I LOOK LIKE THE DAMN QUEEN OR SOMETHING!!? So she pointed me to the wall where there are cheap $2 packages I can use. OHHHHHHHHHHHH okay the not-Priority boxes I presume. So I undid the Priority Mail boxes that I already had ready to go, pulled my stuff out and put it in the peasant shipping packages.

After this whole ordeal, I approached the counter yet again with my packages all sealed up and ready. I was prepared for any sass she was going to throw my way.  I gave her the package I was paying for, everything went well. Then I gave her the package that the store was paying for. I had the return label but I hadn’t taped it to the package yet BECAUSE I COULDN’T FIND ANY TAPE ANYWHERE.

THENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN she said “Oh sooooooorrry we don’t provide tape” OK BITCH THIS THE POST OFFICE AND THERE ISN’T TAPE???????????? I AM NOT GOING TO BUY A WHOLE ROLL OF TAPE FOR THIS ONE LITTLE RETURN LABEL NO WAY. I DON’T HAVE THE MONEY FOR THAT. I SPENT IT ALL ON CLOTHES. NO THAT IS THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD. I AM SUING.

Well there was roll of regular tape on the desk next to hers, probably not meant for customer use, but I threw caution to the wind and I grabbed the roll off the desk. I looked her right in her evil eyes and said “oh will this work?” (HA GOT HER) She scoffed and said “fine”. So I taped the shipping label onto the package, paid my $7 total, and got the hell out of there.

Of course as I was leaving I walked right into this pole, knocked it over, it hit the ground with a theatrical “CLAAAAAANG” that reverberated through the entire building (and world) and really hurt my shoulder. I picked it up and tried not to cry in front of the post office servants as I ran out the front door.

I can’t believe how rude that lady was to me, I was so nice! Albeit, very confused and held up the line a lot BUT STILL how can someone be so rude to this face? Ugh. I also didn’t mention that one of the USPS employees completely DAMAGED my cute little dress. WHATEVER.

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