Carol's Thoughts

Carol’s angry grammar lessons

I have a lot of rage inside which I find best to take out in this blog instead of in real life. I can’t even disagree or argue with someone without feeling bad and apologizing, let alone correct them on their grammar to their face.

Nobody wants to be that asshole.

But there are certain things that I absolutely cannot stand that people say on a regular basis. I thought I would share these commonly spoken errors with all of you so if you accidentally use one in my presence, you will at least know that I am dying inside.

Here are the top 5:

  1. Supposebly

Supposedly. It seems like such a simple word, yet people pronounce it “supposeBly” WITH A B. What kind of sick fuckery is that!? There is no “B” anywhere close to that word! Please use a D, I like the D (hahahaha sex jokes).

  1. Whole ‘nother.

Oh look the red squiggly underline indicating that NOTHER IS NOT A WORD. Another is a word. Just say a-nother and you will get your point across how you wanted and I won’t want to take a corkscrew to my stomach. 

  1. Irregardless

Would ya look at that? Another red squiggly line. Not a word. Regardless is though, so please feel free to use!

  1. Pitcher vs. Picture

A picture is a cherished memory, frozen in time that you might put in a frame on your wall or desk. A pitcher is a vehicle for distributing water into a glass, perhaps during a dinner party. It could also be the person throwing the ball in America’s favorite pastime, baseball. If you ever tell me to “look at this pitcher” I won’t look at the PICTURE you’re trying to show me, I will go into your kitchen, find your pitcher, and stare at it until I get my point across (disclaimer- I would never actually do that, I promise).

  1. I seen it.

Or really any incorrect use of a past tense verb. No, no you SAW. You SAW me in visible discomfort when you used such improper grammar.

 

  1. (BONUS WORD): Definitely.

Now, this word isn’t actually mispronounced very often, I just weep gently every time I see it spelled incorrectly. Definately? Oh nope, not a thing. Microsoft Word is pissed that I changed it back to this spelling after it autocorrected me. Defiantly? It means to defy something/ someone. So you DEFINITELY should stop DEFYING the rules of proper spelling/ grammar.

 

Look, this wasn’t meant to piss anyone off, I am just trying to make the world a better place one correctly spoken sentence at a time. Maybe it’s because I was writing minor, or maybe it’s because I edit and write papers for a majority of my job, or maybe I really am just a stuck-up asshole.

Thank you for reading.

OH! Before I forget, this is off-topic but the dollar sign ALWAYS comes before the number in the United States. Not after. It is never 10$ always $10. Okay I’m done now. God bless.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s