I am officially buying a car next weekend! So I guess this finally means I have accepted my fate of a boring, fiscally responsible adult. Being the proactive, responsible lady that I am, I decided to get the car title switched to my name today EVEN THOUGH I don’t technically have to do that right now, just within 30 days of purchasing the vehicle. I should get a Nobel Peace Prize or something for that shit.
I am buying the car from my brother who lives in Orlando, he had to get the title switched to my name, then notarized, and mail it to me. Easy enough. I got car insurance too! Look at me, all adult n such.
The title came in the mail last week. Today on lunch break I went down to the Hamilton County Title Office. When my day took a turn for the worst (I am being really dramatic, don’t get too excited).
Going downtown is always a stressful venture because there are so many buildings and people and I don’t know where anything is. Luckily I found a parking spot relatively close to the building.
When I approached the Hamilton County Courtroom it was something out of a movie. It spanned probably 4 miles wide with huge pillars, lots of fancy looking lawyer-types outside (one guy was smoking out of a pipe! I didn’t realize it was the 1920s), and even some DEFINITE convicts. A white-trash drugged-out-neck-tattoo fella even said something extremely profane in my direction. Like seriously how do you think I am going to respond to that? Do you really think that’s going to be received positively? Like your disgusting ass says something to me do you think I am going to turn around and talk to you? Do I look like someone who would associate with you? No. Stop. All you did was make me want to take a shower (I’m sure he is in jail now though so he probably won’t read this).
ANYWAY, I walked into the courtroom building place and had to go through this insane security check.I failed that and had to be searched. It was all of the guns I had tucked away in my leggings. Once I got through I asked where the title office it was…it was across the damn street in another building. UGH.
So I went across the street to the title office where a shockingly pleasant girl helped me. Part of me wishes she was a huge bitch so this story would be more interesting but no. I gave her the title and she did her little thang.
Now I am going to be real with you I thought this process would cost me like $12, I don’t know why. Like $12 for their troubles I guess. I mean getting something notarized costs like SIX FUCKING DOLLARS… FOR THEM TO STAMP AND SIGN SOMETHING. So I thought $12 seemed like a reasonable amount.
I basically already had the $12 out of my wallet at that point when she handed me the title and said “That’ll be $468.59” UM. EXCUSE. ME. BITCH. (Imagine me clapping my hands in between each word real sassy like) I almost had a heart attack right there on the title bureau’s floor. There really wasn’t any going back now so I gave her my credit card. She stole almost $500 from me, stole my pride, and now I have no money left to be fiscally responsible with. Oh and there was like a $10 service fee for using a credit card. SO YEAH.
Then I had to go to the license plate store place to get that done too. Luckily that was right next door. I decided to just get my normal plates instead of doing temporary tags because I don’t know why people do temporary tags. So I gave the license plate servant my title and my license. It was either $30 for tags that expire on my birthday in July or I can just get ones that extend to my 24th birthday (jesus I am old) next year for $80.
So I am like fuck it just do the $80 ones I am already just pissing all my money away anyway who cares. THEY ONLY TAKE CASH OR CHECKS. IT IS TWO THOUSAND MOTHERFUCKING SIXTEEN AND YOU CAN’T TAKE A CREDIT CARD? BYE.
Well I changed my mind to the $30 tags that I literally will have to renew in like two weeks (and I will probably forget to do it) so whatever. I was not about to withdrawal $80 plus service fee from their stupid DMV ATM. I was not going to let them win this time.
But I got my plates (I didn’t luck out and get anything funny in mine like the number 69 or anything ugh), tags, and car title so it’s a pretty adult day all around. Then I came back to work and ate 3 donuts because someone brought them to work. So sorry if you work at EPA and there weren’t any donuts left. I am sitting here in severe stomach pain from such a dense ball of dough and sugar just sitting in my stomach. #adult #blesst