Race/ injury report

Well damn! It’s been a minute since I have written anything! Two fortnights have passed since I had written to you last about my horrible incident with a vacuum cleaner.

Let me tell you A LOT has changed since then!

I will consider that day a turning point in my life.

Okay like not really.

But I did buy a brand new vacuum! So that’s exciting.

I am not here to talk about vacuums today. I am here to do a short wrap up of my (potentially finished) 2017 triathlon season.

I did Muncie 70.3 on July 8th and Ohio 70.3 on July 30th. Both were mighty fine races, but Ohio really takes the cake here so I will talk about that one.

All I have ever wanted since starting these half Ironman races and going 6 hours and 2 minutes in my first one, is to break 6 hours. At Ohio I went 5:56.55. I FINALLY DID IT. Not only did I finally break 6 hours, but I went under 3 hours on the bike (by like 4 seconds but WHATEVER)!!! I also went a best time in the swim of 28 minutes which placed me not only first in my age group, but as the first woman overall and I believe the 9th fastest swimmer out of men and women. It really sucks that the swim is the shortest portion, because eveerrrrryyyyoooone seems to catch up and pass me on the bike right away. They should make it like a 7 mile swim, 10 mile bike and a half marathon run. I think a lot of people might drown if they did that though.

ANYWAAAYYYY. After Ohio, I started feeling a bad pain in my right hip flexor (okay I am kind of lying here… I didn’t START feeling the pain, I had been feeling it since Muncie but decided to ignore it because I am an idiot). The pain is tight and almost like a stabbing feeling through my thigh. Then like the 85 year old woman I am, I started to have back spasms on the same side as my hip pain. Like I’m talking Life-Alert-Help-I’ve-Fallen-And-Can’t-Get-Up level pain.

I went to the sports doctor who said that I was probably walking different and using other muscles to compensate for my hip pain which is causing the back spasms. Great. THENNNNNNNNNNNN she laid me down and started jabbing her fingers around my ticklish bits (my hip bones you sick fucks) and asking if I felt pain at each jab. Like woman, you’re VERY aggressively poking me I think anyone would feel pain??? But there was one spot in particular that REEEEALLLLY hurt when she poked it and I guess that was a bad spot to hurt in because it turns out that I might have a stress fracture in my pelvis. So when I said I am 85 years old, I wasn’t lying.

Who gets a stress fracture in their PELVIS!? I don’t think I have weak bones? I mean I have never broken a bone before but I also never drink milk because ew. So who knows.

So basically I am dying and  my body is deteriorating.

I have an MRI on Friday and if it is fractured, then I have to be on crutches for 8-12 weeks. ME. ON CRUTCHES.  If you know me BUT AT ALL, you know that this would literally be my worst nightmare. If I can’t workout, I have no idea how I am going to expend all my built up energy and rage. I’ll probably start taking my anger out on friends and family then end up alone for the rest of my life.

On a positive note, I don’t have any races coming up…yet. I mean I would like to do an Olympic distance tri in September and a half marathon in October but haven’t signed up for either yet. THANK GOD I haven’t, because being on crutches sucks bad enough, it would suck even worse to have lost $150 signing up for races I couldn’t even do.

Obviously feel free to send your #thoughts and #prayers to my pelvis. Maybe it’s just a strained ligament or something! Whatever it is, I hope they figure it out and I can get it fixed semi-quickly and easily. I have my eyes set on my first full Ironman next October and any injuries better heal before then.

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