Now I consider myself a sort of connoisseur of water, if you will. I mean I DO work in the water division at EPA, and I used to swim, and I regularly bathe in water. BUT I’m here to talk about drinking water!

So I have always loved drinking water. The only other thing besides water that I drink throughout the day is my morning black coffee. You could say that my taste in liquids is quite dull and I would agree with this statement.

I always see fitness people at the gym or on Instagram carrying around their gallon milk jugs of water and TBH, I always think they look kind of douche-y. I don’t know if it’s the gallon jug that’s douche-y, or the massive muscle beef head man who loudly grunts when lifting weights to let the whole room know he’s lifting heavy. Whatever, it’s kind of douche-y either way.

ANYWAY. Even though these men seem douche-y, there must be some reasoning behind the jug! They’re all super fit sooo…

So, I have made it a personal challenge to drink one gallon of water every single day now. I have a cute 32 ounce Hydroflask bottle (way cuter than a milk jug) that’s covered in stickers and I try to drink 4 a day (because that equals a gallon. MATH.). PLUS, it’s nice because 32 ounces is pretty big so I don’t have to refill it often and the Hydroflask bottles keep yo shit cold for like dayzzzz.

Image may contain: drink

Boy I’ll tell ya! I really do feel better when I drink more water. Maybe it’s because I have to get up twice an hour and sprint to the bathroom before peeing my pants so I’m getting more exercise. But for real though, my skin is clearer and I’m weirdly less bloated! Some mornings, if I catch the light streaming through the window, right at the crack of dawn, in just the right mirror, it almost looks like I have might have an ab muscle or two.

Also, I have pretty ruthless acid reflux almost every day no matter what I eat, because I have the digestive tract of a 60-year-old dad apparently. And just like a dad, you’ll often find me unbuttoning my pants after a meal, making some weird dad-like grunting noises, and popping back some Tums. I will say though, drinking a gallon of water a day has certainly helped it! Not saying it’s healed me of my dad problems, but it definitely douses the flames in my esophagus.

Basically what I’m saying is drinking a gallon of water a day is good and will solve all of your problems.*

Ugly? Drink a gallon of water.

Stressed about work? Drink a gallon of water.

Hate your wife? Drink a gallon of water.

Your house is on fire? Drink a gallon of water and you should make enough pee to put out the flames.


*DISCLAIMER: this statement was not approved by the FDA, or anyone ever. I just think water is like super delicious and important and makes you feel better and I’m just choosing to tell you all about my experience and I hope y’all have a blessed day thanks for reading.

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