I never really give up anything for Lent. When I was little and we ACTUALLY went to church, our family did the whole “no meat on Friday” dealio so we would usually have like grilled cheese and other various meatless items. But as time wore on, we started to become more of a “Christmas-Easter” kind of church family. THEN, a couple years ago we became more of “just Christmas” family. Man, I remember the year they changed all of the Catholic prayers. I think they did that JUST so they could catch all of the people who never went to church. Imma be honest, I STILL say “and also with you” instead of “and with your spirit.” Partly because I always forget and partly because it sounds dumb and I hate it. So yeah, we kind of gave up on the whole Lent thingy.
ANYWAY. This is beside the point. Basically what I am trying to say is that this year I have decided to give something up for Lent. Not for religious purposes if we’re being honest. But because I love a good challenge and also because I hate myself! I’ve decided to give up sweets.
Now if you know me BUT AT ALL, you know that sweets are my one true weakness. I have to have dessert after lunch and dinner. There’s no other option. It’s really a problem. Deloris the secretary at work has a candy jar in her office that is always overflowing with goodies. I mean DUH, her name is DELORIS. Of COURSE she has a jar of candies. And she always ever so sweetly calls me into her office when she refills it so I can have first dibs and take 60 mini Twix bars to eat at my leisure (by leisure I mean like within an hour).
So anyway, I’m going to try to give up sweets. Sacrificing my LIFE for the sake of Lent (I feel like I shouldn’t be this dramatic because like Jesus died for our sins and everything, but I might die too)(sorry that was a joke don’t be offended).
I figure posting about it on this blog would hold me accountable since at least a few people might read it. I am allowing myself several exceptions to this no-sweets rule: I REFUSE to start until after Valentine’s Day. This includes this weekend because that’s when my boyfriend and I are doing Valentine’s Day and I fully expect to receive chocolate (OKAY JORDAN? I like those Hershey’s chocolate covered marshmallow hearts and the strawberry and white chocolate Lindor truffles if anyone is interested). This also means I will have to consume any and all sweet good-goods in my apartment before the weekend is over. This includes the 400 or so cupcakes my roommate got from her work friends for her bday yesterday. It also includes about a dozen half eaten Halo Top pints in the freezer. HEY IT’S OKAY. President’s Day is Monday so I got me a long weekend. So the feast can span three days.
THE OTHER EXCEPTION TO THE NO-SWEETS RULE: My boyfriend’s birthday is this month and we will absolutely be dining on some damn fine cake that day. AND BECAUSE HE IS MY BOYFRIEND AND I LOVE HIM AND WILL MAKE THIS SACRIFICE FOR HIM. Also he doesn’t even like cake so I have to make up for it.
When I say sweets I mean:
- Ice cream
- Cookies (LOL isn’t Girl Scout season soon? KILL ME.)
- Pastries, Danishes, muffins (unless they’re some sort of bullshit “clean eating” muffins that uses like broccoli as a substitute for sugar or something)
Anyway you get the general idea. Basically my life is about to become a certain hell. I feel like I will cave within the first day BUT WHO KNOWS RIGHT? Also, a nice side effect of giving up sweets is that maybe my constant acid reflux will go away? IDK if that’s a good thing though, because that means I would have to give up sweets forever and honestly a pain-free stomach isn’t worth that.
Okay anyway. I hope you have a blessed Lenten season. And if you ever catch me crying for no reason or being especially irritable one day, just know it’s the sweets and not you (unless you say something mean or are annoying or something).