The year is 2070. My grandchildren run up to me and sit on my lap.
“Grandma, today in school we learned about The Year 2020. Do you remember it?”
My eyes grow wide and I shed a single tear. For I have not been able to talk about the tragic events that took place 50 years ago. The clusterfuck that was the year 2020.
This is how I think people will look back up this year. It’s only March and this is the biggest shit show that I, and probably everyone else, has ever lived through. People are losing their jobs and businesses are closing. Even Disney is closed. DISNEY. Do you know how much Disney likes to take people’s money!? AND THEY CLOSED. The grocery stores are getting raided and people are stockpiling shit they don’t need. All the sports are cancelled and peoples’ dreams are crushed.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand why they are cancelling sporting events but damn. Can you imagine training your whole life for something and it gets taken away? Imagine this is your senior year of college and now you can’t play your final game ever in a sport that you’ve been playing all your life!? Imagine training for an Ironman for a whole year and then not being able to do it.
This morning I went to Ralphs in a panic. Last night a few of my friends texted me saying all the shelves are empty and there is no food left. I don’t have much food in my apartment so I decided to go now before it’s too late. There was not one thing of meat left in that store. The pasta and canned good aisles were so empty I think I saw a tumbleweed rolling down one of them.
I’m not exactly sure why people are doing this. Do they think that we are all going to literally be locked in our homes and not allowed to leave? Or are they freaking out because they don’t want to go back to the store when even more people are sick? I mean, I guess I don’t have any room to talk because I ALSO went to the store today. But I only got enough food for the week so…
Also, I don’t understand people panic-buying water bottles. Do they think the coronavirus is going to infiltrate our water infrastructure and getting into our drinking water? Do people know they can drink water from the tap? Someone told me that they read an article that said to stockpile ammo and body armor. I’m sorry?? Like are people out here trying to shoot the coronavirus?? Why would anyone need body armor?? Are people coming to rob them of their giant stockpiles of toilet paper? Or is the body armor in case you accidentally cough and your neighbor hears you so he comes over to shoot you?
As a wise woman once said in a Tweet (it was me, I am that wise woman), “I’m just sitting here during this coronavirus outbreak thinking back to when there was no coronavirus outbreak and how I took it for granted.”
Seriously! I have to be more grateful next time there isn’t a global pandemic going on. I shouldn’t complain when Jordan makes me watch basketball because at least we have sports! I shouldn’t complain about going to the grocery store when the shelves are fully stocked! I shouldn’t be mad about having to spend $250 to do a race, because at least there is a race!
Anyway, that was my rant. I don’t know if it made much sense but I had a lot of thoughts that needed to escape.
If you don’t hear from me again, it’s because I got killed because I didn’t stockpile enough ammo or body armor. Otherwise, I hope to see you on the other side of this pandemic. Godspeed.